Last month, there was a tremendous uproar in the secular media about a very Catholic sports star, making very Catholic comments at a very Catholic College in Kansas.

Many articles about Kansas City Chiefs player Harrison Butker’s commencement speech at Benedictine College flooded print, broadcast and electronic media in the days following the May 11 graduation ceremony. Most articles were second or third hand accounts. As the family of a Class of 2024 Benedictine College graduate (Way to go Kelly!), our family was present, so I’d like to share a first-hand account.

In short, Butker’s comments were not controversial for anyone who has “the eyes to see and ears to hear.” The controversy and accusations hurled at the footballer for allegedly attacking this or that group, is simply the reaction you would expect from people in a culture that is at odds with Catholicism.  Clearly, things that are common sense to us, are controversial for those who do not share our values.

Why all the fuss? Two opposing world views
Moral relativism and utilitarian ideologies are in full bloom.  Moral relativism is characterized by the belief that there is no universal truth about anything. Every person is his or her own arbiter, especially when it comes to below the belt issues. Utilitarianism suggests human beings are only as good as the goods they produce. Men and women are objects to be used and when no longer productive, are discarded.  Along with this ideology comes the relativist and revisionist view that marriage is both an unnecessary social construct and as such it’s something that can be turned into whatever you want it to be. The utilitarian mindset is individualistic, self-seeking and materialistic. It often ignores basic human needs, such as the need to love and be loved and the need for safety and security.  Mating is a sterile and meaningless proposition that becomes ultimately about pleasure.  The utilitarian has the same natural instincts to procreate, but will do so by any means. Utilitarianism outsources child rearing because after all, the only worthwhile endeavor is “work.”

On the other hand, you have the Catholic world view that believes objective truth exists and can be known through Divine Revelation. Truth is also a person, “I am the Way the Truth and the Life,” says Jesus in John 14:6. The Catholic world view believes human beings, created by God in His image and likeness,  are subjects worthy of love, dignity and respect, and whose human work is expansive and inclusive of all the activity necessary for human flourishing.  This includes the work necessary to accomplish the primary vocations God calls people to, celibacy or marriage. It also includes the work involved in the countless secondary vocations (trades or professions) the Lord calls people to. Education, training and apprenticeships prepare men and women for the work they need to do to provide for their own basic human needs, like food and shelter.  As Catholics we believe work is for the benefit of people, not the other way around.

The comments
Butker talked about a lot of things, but the thing that got the most attention were his remarks to the women in the graduating class. Butker dared to elevate marriage and family to something that is also worthy of pursuing, even above careers.  Common sense yet controversial to some.

“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you,” he said. “How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your [future] marriage and the children you will bring into this world,” Butker said.

Butker then turned his attention to the men and challenged them to be men who are present and involved husbands and fathers when the time comes. He told the men that they too have an important role to play in their future families and called out naysayers who propose the idea that men are not important or necessary.

“As men, we set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction, and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation,” he said.  “Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy,” he insisted.

Butker is not wrong about this.  The social scientific research about the negative outcomes of children who grow up in fatherless homes is real and it's heartbreaking.

Things that make you go, hmmm?
Not everything Butker said in his speech was completely clear and if I had the chance, I would ask him to clarify. For instance in the speech he gives his wife credit for being, “the primary educator of our children”. Even if the Butkers are a homeschooling family, the Catholic Church teaches that it’s the responsibility of the parents, not just the wife, to be the primary educators of children.

I would also ask where his beliefs about Natural Family Planning come from.  In his speech, he called the use of NFP a “heterodox” practice.  What is so erroneous about married couples using fertility awareness methods to space their pregnancies or to conceive? Fertility awareness and natural methods of family planning respect how God designed the human body and have been promoted in the Church since Humanae Vitae was promulgated in 1968, possibly even before that.  Natural methods of family planning have the additional benefit of being early warning systems for a myriad of gynecological illnesses.

Finally, I would ask Butker about his obvious dislike for the Ordinary Form of the Mass. While the Extraordinary Form of the Mass aka the Traditional Latin Mass (TLM) is very beautiful and has drawn very large numbers of young families and “new” Catholics to Mass, a reverently executed Mass in the Ordinary Form is beautiful too. Jesus is really and truly present in the Eucharist regardless of what form of the Mass you attend. It’s a matter of Church teaching and not opinion that Catholics can worship in various forms. You can read more about this in the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph #1203.  If one is honest one must admit that any form of the Mass can be done reverently or irreverently.

Plenty of “love” to go around
Butker touched on pretty much all the hot button issues of the day and had some choice words about the current resident of the White House, as well as bishops and priests who in his words “become too familiar” with their parishioners.
  
“Before we even attempt to fix any of the issues plaguing society, we must first get our own house in order and it starts with our leaders,” he declared.  “The bishops and priests appointed by God as our spiritual fathers must be rightly ordered. There is not enough time today for me to list all the stories of priests and bishops misleading their flocks, but none of us can blame ignorance anymore and just blindly proclaim ‘that's what Father said,’” he asserted. Butker then invited the laity to pray and fast for our Church leaders and not just complain about them.

Finally to the graduates, Butker wrapped up by saying: “Make no mistake, you are entering into mission territory in a post-God world, but you were made for this. With God by your side and a constant striving for virtue within your vocation, you too can be a saint. Christ is King, to the Heights!” he exclaimed.

And with that parting punt, the young 28-year-old man who kicks footballs for a living ended his remarks and got a standing ovation.   It seemed like there was a collective sigh of relief in that arena. Somebody had the courage to say what’s on the minds of many Catholics.

After the graduates’ recessional, and as we made our way out of the sports arena where the graduation took place, I heard mostly positive comments from other families, but I’m sure not everyone felt that way.
    
A little truth from an elder under a shady tree
Once outside, I sat with my mother-in-law under the shade of a tree to wait for my husband and father-in-law to bring the car around. While we waited, I briefly talked to an older gentleman who was also waiting there for his family.  He looked over and said, “Colleges are a mess these days. I feel proud my granddaughter came to this one, and I am proud of that young man that gave that speech. It needed to be said,” he concluded.

Yes indeed.  In the Church and in society at large, there are a lot of things that need to be said but we’re afraid.  What we need is the courage to have more dialogue, more sharing of ideas, and more sharing the faith.  No problems have ever been resolved by hiding and being quiet.  Avoidance is not a virtue, even though we have treated it as such in the Church.   If we don’t address the problems that plague us, we run the risk of our religion being hollowed out and rendered meaningless. It’s what relativism does to everything it touches, and our religion is not immune.