One of the great benefits of homeschooling is the opportunity to foster close sibling relationships. A special opportunity for bonding comes with the arrival of a new baby. That opportunity, however, is not without its challenges.
Drawing from the experiences of more experienced homeschooling moms and my own recent experience of welcoming a baby while homeschooling, here are a few tried and true strategies to consider:
Build in Recovery Time Many cultures have traditions that support moms in healing in the weeks after giving birth. If your own mother was raised in a culture that encourages mothers to stay in bed for a month and emphasizes nourishing homemade food and drink that support healing, you may not need a reminder. For the rest of us, it’s helpful to think about the fact that becoming a beauty pageant queen less than two weeks after giving birth is not the norm. In fact, the traditional “churching” of women who had given birth shows that in the practice of our faith this important period of recovery was recognized and set aside.
Spending a month in bed is probably not possible for a homeschooling mom with older kids in sports and activities, but some intentional recovery time at the beginning can lead to a much smoother long-term recovery, both physically and mentally. Depending on if your husband has paternity leave, which neighbors can lend a hand, and if any extended family can spend time with you in the home, aiming to spend up to a week mostly in bed and another week with limited physical activity can facilitate bonding with baby and necessary physical recovery.
Of course, there are likely to be unexpected challenges—a child with appendicitis or a baby with colic—but aiming for at least two weeks of rest is a great place to start. If the baby spends time hospitalized or there are complications, more time might be needed. Regular schoolwork and activities can wait; mom’s recovery is essential.
Remember that the Baby is the Lesson Sometimes If you have met many homeschooling moms, you’ve probably noticed that they tend to be very active. Taking breaks and simplifying for a few months can be hard for many moms, who are often managers of the schoolwork, meals, home life, and social activities for the family. Some moms even feel guilty for slowing down. The demands of a new baby can make it feel to some parents that they are neglecting the needs of their older kids. This is often a misguided concern. We are not homeschooling to raise super geniuses but to build relationships with whole human beings. Babies—and the physical discomfort and vulnerability that comes with them—are part of life. As many homeschool moms have pointed out, it’s important to remember that sometimes the baby is the lesson. We can become so concerned with math worksheets and spelling lists that we lose sight of the faith and worldview that we are passing on to our children. When the baby is up all night and mom needs to modify the day’s lessons to get a nap, her other children are learning valuable lessons about caring for others and growing in skills outside of the purely academic realm.
Babies are also miraculous and captivating. Certain older siblings will want nothing more than to watch the baby sleeping and to “help” with every diaper change. Homeschooling allows this different kind of learning to happen every day.
Simplify Othe Areas of Life Of course, our children’s academic learning is still important. One way to try to ensure that mom is able to recover and older siblings continue learning in the home is to simplify as much as possible. Ideally, before the baby arrives, making freezer meals, giving closets a deep clean, and refining family routines can help the transition to life with a new baby.
In real life, in which we might get sidelined with pregnancy complications, the flu, and all the demands of managing a home and homeschool, these helpful preparations might not get done before the birth. We can still simplify our daily rhythms and routines after baby arrives! If someone offers to bring a meal, say “yes please” and “thank you.” If you are making dinner, keep it simple and consider using paper plates. Be flexible with scheduled commitments and don’t be afraid to say “no” to extra activities. There will be time in the future to get back to full capacity, but during the newborn days, keeping everyone in the family more flexible can be a huge help.
If the winter clothes are still out as the temperatures warm up or excess clutter throughout the home is getting in the way, don’t be afraid to box things up to deal with later. Keeping your environment calm and (somewhat) orderly can help sensitive kids (and their parents!) relax in the home.
Get Back to the Basics As you move back into regular schoolwork, keep the focus on the fundamentals. It can seem like paring down academics will not be enough. However, 20 minutes of focused instruction each day can go a long way to solidifying fundamentals in math and reading. Having short and consistent instruction that is pleasant is far better than trying to cram in hours’ worth of work while sleep deprived. While focusing on the essentials of home education for a season, family read-alouds are a great asset. Finding books to read aloud that will appeal to most of the older siblings can be a fun way to continue learning in a way that promotes family bonding. The shared experience of a story still fosters language development in a wide age range and can complement the study of history, geography, and other subjects you want to introduce. Stories also don’t need to be read by you! Finding good audiobooks and film adaptations can be as simple as browsing the online resources of your local library. Homeschooling with a new baby, while challenging for all involved, can be incredibly rewarding. What is your best advice?