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• Nourish Your Marriage for a
  Flourishing Homeschool
  by Anna Reynolds
  September 1, 2023
  
  Homeschooling requires an alternative lifestyle and a commitment from all family members for success. Figuring out how homeschooling can work for an individual family is not always simple. Usually, one parent becomes the full-time homeschool teacher while the other parent works outside the home, but this is increasingly not the only option.
  
  Whether parents choose to involve grandparents for day-to-day help with homeschooling or mom and dad can juggle the homeschool needs of older kids while working from home, there are many different ways to meet the educational needs of the children and the other demands of family life.
  Whatever the case may be, the health and strength of the marriage bond should always be an important part of the homeschool discussion. A wise priest observed, “There is no sacrament of parenthood, but there is a sacrament of marriage.” The strength and health of your marriage in many ways determine the health of the family, your domestic church.
  
  What if There is Only One Parent?
  First, we’d like to offer a word of encouragement for parents who may not have a spouse with whom to share the daily tasks of parenting. For parents who are widowed, divorced, or separated, homeschooling is still possible with attention to the needs of the parent and child or children involved.
  
  Some mothers and fathers have successfully shifted the school day to the afternoon to accommodate their work hours. Others enlist the help of extended family and friends. However it works best for you, there needs to be special care given to supporting the mother or father educating the children. Without the emotional support and sacramental grace of marriage, the task of home educating is an even more daunting one. If you discern that homeschooling is best for your children, finding outside help—from a parish priest, friends, neighbors, and extended family—can be a tremendous asset.
  For married parents considering homeschooling with both spouses involved, here are a few of the most common challenges to marital happiness that can arise from homeschooling and possible solutions.
  
  One Spouse Does Not Want to Homeschool
  Often one spouse is more enthusiastic about homeschooling than the other. Sometimes, one parent is opposed to even considering homeschooling. If one spouse is reluctant to homeschool, it’s important to find out why. Many people do not know many homeschoolers and have a perception that homeschooling is “weird.” Other people are concerned that missing out on the social dynamics and discipline of a traditional school environment will hinder children’s ability to thrive later in life.
  
  Usually, there is some valid concern motivated by love for the child that prompts a parent to be hesitant about homeschooling. For a mother or father who strongly desires to homeschool, not turning the discussion into a power struggle is essential. Being able calmly to discuss the pros and cons and address specific concerns can set the stage for working as a team in homeschooling and other areas of life.
  
  A powerful way to overcome reluctance to homeschooling is to meet other homeschooling families. Seeing how real Catholic couples make it work while meeting academic milestones and enjoying family life can offer new perspective for the reluctant spouse and manage expectations for the spouse who is ready to dive in.
  
  Becoming Overwhelmed with Responsibilities
  Another concern that many spouses have is that the primary homeschooling parent will not be able to handle the demands of being with the children so much and managing the education, often of multiple children at different developmental stages. This concern is valid. The mother who is managing the day-to-day homeschool activities for the family must recognize that taking care of herself is necessary for her children’s success. A mother who is chronically tired and overwhelmed will struggle to offer her children a home environment that nurtures a life of the mind.
  
  Likewise, if the father is the primary homeschool parent, finding time and relationships outside the home is often essential to flourishing. Once homeschooling is underway, the primary homeschool parent can become immersed in the world of home education, discipline, and managing the home. Becoming overwhelmed by responsibility can undermine the original intention of homeschooling, the peace of the family home, and, above all, the health of the marriage.
  
  The parent working outside the home as a sole breadwinner may also feel overwhelmed by the burden of providing for the family. Finding a way for both spouses to share their burdens can relieve a lot of anxiety and conflict. Is there a subject the full-time working dad would love to teach that could be a way to share the responsibilities of homeschooling and enjoy time with the kids? Can the homeschooling mother pick up hours with a part-time position that would ease the family’s financial situation?  Addressing overwhelm before it happens can help you  to avoid a lot of stress to the marriage.
  
  Not Finding Time for Healthy Communication
  With the demands of homeschooling it can be easy to neglect time with your spouse. In every stage of life, a lack of quality time spent together can be a serious blow to the happiness and harmony of the married couple. During the years of having young children, especially when homeschooling, there is often a temptation to put the marriage on the backburner. This is a mistake.
  
  To guard against neglecting your marriage, you might schedule a regular date night. Many couples find this helpful because it is already planned for. If everyone is too tired at night, you might opt for an early morning coffee date on the front porch or a simple glass of wine in the backyard after the kids are in bed. Whether you leave the house or not, a helpful rule is no discussing the children!
  
  Beyond dates, simply taking the time to give your spouse a kiss when he walks in the door or leaving a small surprise for your wife to discover can rekindle romantic love at a time when you feel like you don’t have time for it.
  
  Spending time with your spouse and finding ways to enjoy each other’s company can seem like one more item to add to the to-do list. It is not just another chore but the beating heart of your family life and domestic church. For families who choose to homeschool, thriving parents and children requires that the mother and father continue to nurture their marriage.
  What are your favorite ways to nurture your marriage?
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  You CAN Do It: Bring Education Home
  By Anna Reynolds
  August 3, 2023 
            With the current state of many schools, parents are increasingly considering homeschooling. You might be one of them! Whether due to concerns about school safety, ideologically driven curricula, bullying, mental health issues, or cyber threats, there are many serious reasons to reconsider sending kids to the nearest public school. Additionally, economic trends have made private schools unattainable for many families.
            In contrast, homeschooling offers families freedom. They have the ability to choose curricula and an educational style that fits their children’s unique needs. Even with a rich array of resources and activities, homeschooling can be done affordably, especially when families find ways to reuse materials for siblings.
  It almost seems too good to be true: an affordable school option that gives parents freedom to educate their children in the way they discern is best. But for an increasing number of families—including Catholic families—homeschooling is becoming a way of life that facilitates close family relationships and education in what matters most.
            If you have ever thought about home education, read below for four considerations that might open your eyes to the real possibility.
  Can You Homeschool?
            You may know someone who was homeschooled, but you may not know anyone. Thirty years ago, homeschooling was much less common. Now, there are growing networks that offer specific information on homeschooling laws for your state (for example, in Texas, you can find many resources through the Texas Home School Coalition).
            Through these groups, you can also find active homeschool families who can provide practical information on getting started. What you will find are ordinary parents, many of whom have never been formal teachers, guiding their children in their lessons each day.
  Many parents worry that they are not equipped to teach because they do not have an education certificate. In paragraph 2223, the Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children.” Classroom experience or not, fathers and mothers have a duty to discern the educational path for their children. Rather than being focused on class management techniques and grading rubrics, parents can teach their children one-on-one in the home environment. Whether or not you feel you are equipped, you have the responsibility to ensure the education of your children, and that may include home education.
            The Catechism continues, “They [the parents] bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery - the preconditions of all true freedom.” While this paragraph is not specifically advocating homeschooling, it is easy to see why many Catholic families find homeschooling to be a beautiful and fruitful way of living out the universal call to holiness in the domestic church.
  Moms and dads, you are equipped to teach your children. Keep reading to find out how.
  Find Homeschool Role Models
            If you are new to homeschooling and do not have friends who have already begun the journey, it can be helpful to spend some time familiarizing yourself with educational philosophies that pair well with home education. We will offer a more detailed look at curricula options in an upcoming blog post.
  While educational philosophies may inspire you and give you a great scaffolding to start, you may find these formal models overwhelming. There are also many Catholic moms who have shared their successes and lessons learned after decades of homeschooling. Kimberly Hahn, a well-known Catholic writer and speaker, offers many practical tips. Other bloggers and podcasters may resonate with you and give you a roadmap to beginning your own home school.
  Plug into Local Co-ops and Homeschool Groups
             While reading and listening to podcasts are a great start, there is no substitute for in-person relationships. As homeschooling has become more popular, you can find many different groups for parents who want to collaborate. Homeschooling does not mean that you spend all of your time in your house!
            Finding social meetups for homeschoolers can be a great way to meet other homeschoolers. If you have found an educational philosophy that works well for your family, see if there is a local group of like-minded parents. For example, there might be a Charlotte Mason-based co-op that meets weekly or monthly in your area.
            One strategy is to spend some time searching the internet and look for local online communities that can connect you to in-person meetups and activities. Even better, if you see a family out and about on a school day, don’t be afraid to ask if they are homeschooling and ask what groups they belong to. Many homeschoolers are friendly and happy to find other homeschooling families.
  Find What Works Best for Your Family
            You’ll often hear veteran homeschool parents observe that you are not bound to any one specific way of homeschooling. If it does not work for you and the specific children God has given you, you can try a different approach. There are many ways to successfully teach reading, writing, and arithmetic while nurturing a close and loving relationship with your kids. The key is to be flexible and pay attention to what works well for your family.
            If you find a weekly homeschool meetup too taxing and disruptive to your homeschool week, you don’t have to go. If you find a particular math curriculum too frustrating and time-intensive, you can try a different one. If you prefer to homeschool year-round instead of following the traditional school calendar, you have the freedom to do that.
            Hopefully, in all these examples you can see that homeschooling is attainable for ordinary Catholic families. You do not need a PhD in education to teach your own children, and there are many tools and resources to aid you. Most importantly, there are a growing number of other homeschool families who can provide friendship, community, and practical advice. If you are considering homeschooling, you are not alone, and it is possible.
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    Anna Reynolds, MA
    SMC Writer