politics (pol i-tiks) n. The art or science of government
poli-ticks (pol i-tiks) n. A contagious airborne illness which leads to silence and avoidance of political discourse. Typical symptoms include but are not limited to eye twitching and nail biting. 

A friend and colleague from the Catholic publishing world and I were recently discussing the importance of talking about politics in Catholic family life. We agreed that our Faith has a lot to say about the topic. In fact, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, the USCCB, recently re-issued some information:  Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship.  In the free downloadable booklet, where Church leaders offer guidance to Catholics and all people of good will, about the importance of educating the conscience and civic engagement.

It’s clear that sharing political (and religious) viewpoints within large extended families is considered taboo.  I’ve created a little term to describe the condition of not talking about politics with your family and friends.  You won’t find it in the dictionary so don’t even look.  It’s called poli-ticks.  I believe most families suffer from it to varying degrees.  This ailment was enshrined with a rule of etiquette: In mixed company, either in business or at the dinner table, don’t talk about religion or politics.
  
Being a part of a large extended family with differing political and religious beliefs I can attest to the effectiveness of putting that old rule into practice.  I have often wondered, however, if this is truly the best way to go. If you can’t talk about these things with your family, who can you talk to?

Engagement or Avoidance?

While I truly believe that close and loving families can and should be able to have civil conversations about ANYTHING, the reality is that we are sinful and fallen people prone to having our feelings hurt or of becoming angry when our beliefs are questioned.  Perhaps when dealing with extended family there is some wisdom in avoiding certain subjects though in my view, treading softly is preferable to avoidance. Could we, for example, ask a loved one, “what do you think about this? Why do you think that?” Then just listen? 

The conversations we have with a spouse or with our own children are a different story.  It’s always nice when married couples share the same values and thus the same political viewpoints, this leads to an additional area of harmonious living. However, when married couples don’t see eye to eye should they avoid those topics to keep the peace?  Just like any other subject worth talking about, not talking about politics simply creates a dishonest or false peace.  Dishonesty is never the way to go if one wants a happy, and holy marriage.

So, what’s the other option? Engagement and loving dialogue.  A soft start to a values-based conversation about a political issue might be, “Let’s talk about (subject), I want to understand your point of view a little better.”   After quietly hearing the person out without interruption, you can simply say, “thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, may I share what I think about it?  If they say YES, share your views, if they say NO, wrap up by saying something like, “OK, while I disagree with you about this subject, I love you and appreciate that you shared what you think with me, maybe we can talk about this again some other time."  This is also a good way to engage older teens and young adults about values issues.  

Civic Engagement Informed by Catholic Virtues and Values 

Besides working on improving our knowledge of Catholic teaching with resources like Faithful Citizenship, a foundational piece that will always help make sense of the “heady” Church stuff is to learn about and practice, the Theological and Human Virtues.  Sharing these beautiful things with our children from the earliest ages helps them internalize the virtues and values that will make them good people and good citizens.   Virtuous living leads to upright moral living, which creates in turn a good and just society.  St. Thomas More, the patron Saint of statesmen and politicians famously said, “man cannot be separated from God, nor politics from morality”. 
  
Political conversations in the home, don’t necessarily have to center on this or that candidate at first.   Political conversations in the home can be about the Catholic-Christian values a family holds dear.  In a dispassionate way, we will eventually have to hold up our political candidates and see where they measure up to our Gospel values.  No human being or political leader is perfect, but we can discern the candidates who more closely espouse what we believe.  It’s a Christian and civic responsibility to put leaders in office who have a history of being concerned about the common good.  

Further Reading for Families

Besides Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship, The Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church is a treasure-trove of wisdom on the importance and role of politics and government. For example, paragraph 168 of the Compendium reads: “The responsibility for attaining the common good, besides falling to the individual person, belongs also to the state, since the common good is the reason that the political authority exists.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church also addresses the importance of Catholics engaging politics.

There are many people who consider themselves apolitical and generally don’t think about or care about elections. Politics is seen as something distant that doesn’t affect their daily life and there's a degree of apathy. The Catholic Church encourages civic political participation because like it or not, it does affects everyone and everything that matters. Politicians in every area of government, from the national level, all the way down to the local school board are making decisions that affect every single one of us.

As Catholics, we set the bar high for those who represent us. No candidate is perfect but there are some who are better than others when it comes to the issues and values we care about.  I would say Catholics are pretty simple people. We love God and we love people. Jesus' Great commandment.  “Without the light the Gospel sheds on God and man, societies easily become totalitarian,” reads the Catechism of the Catholic Church (#2257).

Pope Francis had this to say in one of his daily reflections on September 16, 2013: “We need to participate for the common good. Sometimes we hear: a good Catholic is not interested in politics. This is not true: good Catholics immerse themselves in politics by offering the best of themselves so that the leader can govern”. 

Now, if we could just get rid our chronic poli-ticks and talk to our families about this stuff, maybe we could begin the healing process that has so dangerously divided our nation.

May our Lord Jesus Christ bless our conversations, and may He have mercy on us as we vote for who will lead us. 

You can read the entire text of Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship here.